Only A Dream In Rio
I have been struggling ever since Daddy passed to really cherish the good memories. It's been a war within myself, truly-- my subconscious has been doing it's best to tear me down.
I have hoped for dreams about a healthy Dad, a happy Dad. Instead, I've been plagued by dreams of a sick, suffering Dad in his final days.
Last night there came a reprieve, however.
In the backyard of my childhood home there is a shed that was always Dad's-- it was more or less his workshop. It housed his tools and assorted boating & fishing gear. These days it houses a lot of dust and unused stuff, but in my dream last night it was different. My sisters and I met there to go through Dad's belongings and unearthed a treasure trove of memories.
In every corner were more photos I'd never seen, trinkets I'd never touched, and memories than I can recall now. At some point my Mama showed up and we piled our cars full of things that were important to each of us-- mementos from stages of the lives we led with Dad. I wish that I could recall some of the things I held in my hands, things I haven't touched since my childhood that are long gone and resonated with me deeply.
Daddy didn't make a physical appearance in the dream but it made me feel closer to him than ever. Maybe, just maybe, Daddy sent that dream to me as a sign that even though he is gone, he is still with us in a thousand other ways. I've been having a hard time lately, as have my sisters-- and I feel like he wanted to let me know that even though he can't be here, he is with us. Out of sight certainly doesn't mean out of mind, and even if memories are all we have from this point forward... we can certainly cherish them-- and him-- forever.
Cross posted from Daddy's blog.
I have hoped for dreams about a healthy Dad, a happy Dad. Instead, I've been plagued by dreams of a sick, suffering Dad in his final days.
Last night there came a reprieve, however.
In the backyard of my childhood home there is a shed that was always Dad's-- it was more or less his workshop. It housed his tools and assorted boating & fishing gear. These days it houses a lot of dust and unused stuff, but in my dream last night it was different. My sisters and I met there to go through Dad's belongings and unearthed a treasure trove of memories.
In every corner were more photos I'd never seen, trinkets I'd never touched, and memories than I can recall now. At some point my Mama showed up and we piled our cars full of things that were important to each of us-- mementos from stages of the lives we led with Dad. I wish that I could recall some of the things I held in my hands, things I haven't touched since my childhood that are long gone and resonated with me deeply.
Daddy didn't make a physical appearance in the dream but it made me feel closer to him than ever. Maybe, just maybe, Daddy sent that dream to me as a sign that even though he is gone, he is still with us in a thousand other ways. I've been having a hard time lately, as have my sisters-- and I feel like he wanted to let me know that even though he can't be here, he is with us. Out of sight certainly doesn't mean out of mind, and even if memories are all we have from this point forward... we can certainly cherish them-- and him-- forever.
Cross posted from Daddy's blog.
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